Tuesday, June 19, 2007

No more Reflux

I don't have much heart to write posts right now. But we do have good news that Beth's bladder reflux has resolved itself on its own. She is now free from antibiotics and we don't need to fear that any UTI could be dangerous. She is walking pretty much on her own now.

Please say a prayer for Barry's wife and two children, Nicole and Christopher.

Friday, June 08, 2007

My Beloved Brother, Barry

At 4:00 this morning, my beloved brother died. He had a massive stroke on Tuesday afternoon and his body and brain could not take the trauma and he finally succombed. We know not why such a horrible thing would happen to him.

Barry had a beautiful wife, Cathie, and two children, Christopher and Nicole. Barry loved all things in the wild. His family brought him immense joy. He filled a room with his spirit whenever he was around. My pain is so great that it seems that if I breathe too deeply, I will suffocate in the void that now exists on this earth.

Below are photos of Barry's generous love with his children and mine. God now has him and I know that our baby girl, Julianne, is happiliy nestled in his strong chest. I am so comforted knowing that he is caring for her in Heaven and when are all together, she will be as beautiful and wonderful as his children are here on earth.

I love you, Barry. Mike loves you. My children love and adore you. We will honor your spirit by taking care of your family.

Cathie and Kathie

Saturday, June 02, 2007

More Steps - Cystogram Status

Beth took about 5 steps by herself on June 1 so we are counting that as walking. She was completely balanced and slowly walked between Daddy and I so she could show us a toy she was holding. What a grin she had! She can stand a pivot a bit and it totally comfortable "cruising" from table to couch and along the walls. In the next few days I expect she will stroll across the room! She is so very proud of herself and so are we. Given that this happened just before her development clinic appointment, I think we'll rest much easier.

Nuclear Cystogram
The dreaded exam was on Friday (the same day she walked so I guess she forgave me for holding her down)... They had bumped the appointment to 12:30 and required that she not eat so she could be sedated. In my last post, I wrote that they gave in and agreed NOT to sedate her. We would be taking our chances that the images would be good enough but for the short story, they were just fine.

It was a little painful for her when the catheter was inserted and her bladder filled to capacity. I had to hold her hands and shoulders down for about 10 minute during this process. Another technician held her legs up and away from the catheter while they took images of the contrast going in and then going out.

A doctor is supposed to call in the next few days to tell us the results but I did take a set of films home with me. Now, I could be wrong but I think the films are telling us she still has bladder reflux. They show the volume of fluid in and then the among discharged with a final number of retained fluid. Beth retained about 15% of the fluid that was infused into her bladder. To me that says she isn't voiding completely and so we still have to keep her on antibiotics and repeat this test in a year.

Let's see what the urologist tells me on the 14th. Another doctor might call me before that time to tell me the test results at which point I will relay the information.

It was very difficult to see Beth crying and upset again. She communicates more clearly every day now and I could read her eyes and voice to know that she really wanted me to make it stop. She was doing her best, alternately sucking on her thumb and wringing the heck out of her blanket. I could just barely reach her as I leaned over the scanning table and I held my forehead and mouth against her forehead, humming and singing in any comforting way. For a few seconds I managed to stop her crying while making goofy faces and clicking my tongue but for the most part, she wasn't happy. The radiologists didn't let me nurse her beforehand as I had planned on doing with the attending nurse. She was tired, hungry, uncomfortable and a more than a bit ticked off. Yet bless her heart, she forgave us immediately and I whisked her off to a private room where she nursed and passed out.

I could have used a comforting breast myself (har har) but had to settle for a quiet car ride home and a few minutes to calm down before picking up Elliott from school.

For any mom taking their child to a nuclear cystogram test, I would say it was about 50% less horrible than I expected but unnerving none-the-less. I am very glad we did not sedate her because going without food for 8 hours would have prolonged the stress. With some caring hands and the knowledge that her mommy was with her, I think Beth knew it would be alright it would just take a few minutes to end.